“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”
—Seneca
The choices we make have a profound impact on our day-to-day living. It is worth looking at our choices to understand why we made them and how to make better choices going forward.
The above quote illustrates a choice—a choice to remain where you are or to dare/choose to venture into the unknown and discover who you are or who you want to become. Possibilities.
The choices we make shape our lives. Our habits and beliefs are nothing more than the same choices repeated, and these habits and beliefs shape our daily lives, what we experience, and how we react. This happens mostly without us realizing it, and then we feel victimized because we do not realize that our choices brought us to this place.
Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it so perfectly in his book Your Erroneous Zones: “It is important that you understand that you are a choice-making individual… The conditions you find yourself in… are a result of your choices… You are the product of all the choices you have made up until this moment.”
Learn how to make better choices and you can deliberately create the life you love. You will never again feel powerless.
Accepting full responsibility for the choices you make gives you full control, and you cannot have one without the other. You cannot take only some responsibility yet have full control over outcomes. That dog just won’t hunt here.
Decide who you want to be: a victim or the creator of your life. Should you choose to become the creator of your life, you have to accept that comes with responsibilities. The responsibility to put yourself first, not in a selfish way but in a caring way.
You care enough about yourself, how you feel, and the quality of your life experience that you no longer accept being abused or being treated with lack of respect or consideration.
You no longer shy away from voicing your opinion or insisting that your boundaries are respected. You can say no without feeling guilty.
Ask yourself, “What is my desired outcome?” Then choose the behavior that will get you nearer your desired outcome, not further away.
This, of course, also refers to taking responsibility for your health, food choices, and associations. Yes, to have a wholly happy life you need to be wholly responsible and accountable for all of your choices.
Look at the situations and relationships where you feel unhappy or not valued, and ask yourself, “Why do I choose to remain here? Perhaps it is time to choose myself. Put myself first.”
In sum, when you put yourself first, you realize that you have a voice and a choice. You take responsibility for your choices and their intended and unintended consequences. These choices range from how to feel, how to respond to how much credence to give to any situation.
This will have you in the driver’s seat of your life. No more knee-jerk reactions but only well thought through choices and acceptance of the consequences of your choices. And if you do not like the consequences of a particular choice, learn to make a different choice.
You are now creating your life—no more a victim.
