“When in a hurry, step #1 for changing the entire world is falling in love with it as it already is.
Same for changing yourself.”
—The Universe
I love this quote for its ability to pack a punch succinctly, but its message did not hit home until I recently watched a documentary called Awake in the Darkness.
The film follows a man named Aubrey Marcus who traveled to Europe to engage in a darkness retreat. Two pieces of wisdom emerged during Aubrey’s time in total darkness. The first was to Tell the Truth (good advice, I think, for all of us), and the other was to Love What Is. That’s it. Simply: Love What Is.
These three words appear in a large white font across a black screen, and then the film immediately cuts to images taken from our beautiful, messy planet, all with the word Love emblazoned over top of them: spectacular scenes in nature, death and disease, verbal arguments, garbage dumps, highway traffic, famine, pollution, a baby in tears, and a bird soaring majestically over a clifftop.
A symbolic representation of everything we witness in our lives, each breathtaking shot is narrated by Aubrey repeating the words, “I Love What Is.” The message becomes clear—to Love What Is, whether we define “it” as dismal or cheerful, ugly or pretty, painful or pleasurable.
What is being asked of us, in a very real way, is to surrender to Love. After all, Love is a force greater than any in this Universe and the sooner we allow it in, the lighter we all will feel. This means letting go of our cursory judgments and opinions and simply Loving what’s right there in front of us.
When we fall in Love with “it” as it already is, our entire world changes. How is this possible? By the very power of Love itself! When we make the decision to Love, which includes both that which is easy and that which is not so easy, we become warriors of Love—fearless in our pursuit to bring it into being in every pore and pocket of our lives.
Love What Is.
Come with me on an imaginary journey. Picture yourself standing before an area of blight in your neighborhood, whether that is the local dump, a neighbor’s backyard mess, or an abandoned building long since condemned.
Now imagine yourself feeling negative energy around the situation: you may roll your eyes, you may make an unkind remark, or you may simply allow thoughts of disapproval or disgust to enter your mind. Each of these reactions, friends, is unloving.
You may think that a negative reaction is the result of how something looks or smells or feels to you, but what if I told you it had to do with your split-second decision to make the object of your reaction “bad” and to “other” it?
How does this kind of labeling make you feel? Do you feel you are more connected to or more separated from this object or situation? Do you believe you are more or less in a place of Love?
The knee-jerk reactions we experience with unpleasant things in our environment come like second nature to us because we were taught to respond this way.
Through the various channels of socialization, parenting, forms of role modeling, education, mainstream media, and our occupations, we learned that blemishes are unlovable—whether in the form of childhood scars or acne, Cs and Ds on a report card, a poor performance evaluation, or a piece of garbage lying on the side of the road.
We were taught that withholding Love would prompt change. This meant that our crooked nose, least favorite subject, or jalopy that our mom drove us to school in would get no manner of Love or affection from us.
We blamed the resulting heaviness, restriction, and unsettling emotions on the thing, when it was never to blame. It stood by patiently waiting for our Love so that real transformation could begin.
Love What Is.
Now take a moment to imagine something different. Imagine yourself putting forth the energy of Love into something in your life that may be called a blemish. It could be a messy office, a relationship that needs work, or extra pounds on your frame.
Start by taking time to really notice it: pay attention to it tenderly and refrain from offering any negative commentary. Summon forth your deepest regard for whatever this might be, imagining that maybe, just maybe, your Loving energy is just the thing it needs.
And then, watch what happens.
Everything around you begins to soften. The negative energy which once surrounded this thing is now removed, and so is the heaviness that comes along with it. Lighter and more expansive, you’ve created room for both you and the object to “breathe.” You’re allowing this thing to be exactly as it is—pure, natural Love, which is just what you are.
Love appears in open spaces, not constrictive or binding places. Real and lasting change only can occur when we decide not to beat down, ignore, or belittle but to offer up our real, authentic Love to even that which may seem difficult.
Perhaps most importantly, Love is letting go of our need to change, and when we do that everything changes. Through its mysterious and unknowable nature, Love gives strength to and allows all things to transform into something healed and whole.
Love’s abilities are vast and not easily understood by us down here in the jungles of time and space. It’s best to leave that to the Universe. What we can know, however, is that Loving all things exactly as they are is the beginning to a beautiful opening into real and unrestrictive change.
Our conditioning may have our brains telling us that this is counterintuitive, but I’ve tried the old way for decades now and Love, I’m learning through my own experimentation, is the only thing that works.
