I was talking to a friend who was applying for a grant with her business plan to help Black youth in her community, and she said the one thing most of us say when we’re about to pursue a dream: “I’m scared.”
The fear of following your purpose is completely valid. What will people think? What if I fail? What if I do everything I set out to do and it doesn’t feel the way I imagined? How will I overcome the fear that sits on my chest like a weight?
Some of us are scared of doing the hard work, and for others, that’s the easiest part. Maybe being seen and sharing the work is what keeps you frozen.
Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same: we hold on tightly to our purpose, silence the whispers of our destiny, and soothe ourselves by “staying in our lane.” But the comfort of playing it safe never outweighs the calling.
What you are meant to do is the passion that keeps you up at night, the advice everyone turns to you for, the dream you only write in your journal or keep tucked away in your head. To overcome fear, we first have to name it. What are we really scared of?
Firstly, being judged by others. We grow in a society that doesn’t allow mistakes, where being wrong equates to being bad, and opinions are often presented as fact. The only way to escape judgment is to have a purpose greater than being liked.
For me, I quiet that fear by refusing to take full credit. I experience my writing as something that moves through me, something larger, wiser, and more significant than ego alone. So whether you like the way my words are strung together or not, I don’t carry all the glory or all the fall.
Secondly, being different. Accept that not everyone likes the ocean. I, for one, prefer to stay on land. But the ocean’s vastness, the miraculous creatures it homes, and the surfers who ride the waves will always be drawn to it.
Even I can admit that standing with both feet grounded on a sandy beach, the sun beating down on my skin, there is nothing like the ocean’s mist carried through the breeze. We all have our audience. They may subscribe and resonate with every word or simply observe from afar. Whatever judgment others make is just their preference.
You must be you, because we need a safe haven for those with fins, gills, and surfboards at their feet.
Lastly, we’re scared of sharing with the world. Of telling others, “Hey, this is me. This is what I do when no one is watching. Want to come along? Want to join? Will you support me?”
The words I shared with my dear friend applying for her grant to support Black youth and families in her community: “you’re already doing it.” The thing you’re scared to share, ask support for, apply for the grant for, or get paid for—you’re already doing it.
You do it within your family and your community. You do it silently, and sometimes in the middle of the night. It took me thirty-three years to create a Substack, but I have journals filled from the age of five. I have always written.
Want to be a comic? You’re already making your friends laugh. Want to start a hairstyling business? You’re already braiding your family’s hair.
Want to sell your art or make music? You’re already singing at family functions and painting homemade cards. Want to celebrate Black youth and support communities? You’re already doing it within your own family and sisterhood.
So are we really scared of doing the thing we’re already doing? No.
Chris Rock once famously said, “If your car breaks down and you don’t get out, no one will stop for you. But if you get out of your car and start pushing, people will come and push with you.”
You’re out of the car. You’re pushing. And we are ready to push with you. Will you let us?
