What’s your value?
No, I’m not talking about what you’re worth—in dollars and cents. What do you value in life? What really matters to you? Down to the core of your being.Your core values, so to speak. Are you living in line with what makes you tick?
Do you start your day with eyes on your personal prize? Making sure you head off in the direction of your choosing? Or do you jump up and run out the door or to the TV? Mindlessly meandering. Heavens, I know how easy it is to end up there, ’cause I did it for longer than I’d care to admit.
Four-Year-Old Joy
You hear me talk about getting in touch with our four-year-old joy, replaying the tape back to a time when we just were what we were—no pretense. We knew what we wanted. When. How. Without doubts. Like only kids do.
It is so easy to get off track and start living a life that veers away from that joy, ending up feeling like your skin just doesn’t fit right. Sometimes without noticing. So how does that even happen? How do you end up driving in someone else’s life lane?
One day you dream of being an astronaut. The next, you’re in charge of file cabinets.
There are so many reasons why.
- You tried to please your parents, friends, teachers.
- You ran into a roadblock that seemed so giant! A quick 180 and you were out of there.
- Or worse—you doubted yourself so much that you were scared to even try.
If any of that feels too close to home, let’s try something:
Settle in. Relax. Close your eyes.
Picture yourself as a carefree child. Take your time. Rewind to a day when you were 100% you. Your world was all you’d have it be. If you can’t get there right away, give it a sec—or twelve. Breath. Relax. Go with it.
Now do it again a couple more times. Pick a different age. A little older, little younger. Close your eyes and relive the scene. Where did you end up?
I’ll tell you where I ended up the first time. Outdoors, with the fam, playing in a lake. No fears, worries. Pure joy.
- Next, I’m on the playground. Surrounded by friends—hopscotch, jump rope, and swings.
- I’m creating a masterpiece with my classic Kenner Building set, playing with my Vac•U•Form and Creepy Crawlers. (Yes, these were real things!)
- I’m sprawled on the floor with paper and crayons—creating my masterpieces to tape on the wall.
- My brother says something that’s not even funny—We. Cannot. Stop. Laughing.
One More Thing
Get your favorite writing utensil and scribble down all the details you can remember about the scenes. The who, where, when, and why.
- Remember the color of the book you were reading?
- The intro song from your after-school TV show?
- The smell of your favorite meal coming from the kitchen?
Take your time. You’ve had a full life. What did we learn? Did you find any long-forgotten places? I bet yours looks different than mine. Or maybe not so much. But did they feel the same? I’d call mine variations on a theme—a bucket full of all the flavors of fun. I’m in love with those moments.
Find Any Themes?
The point of this drill is to remember what lights up our heart. What parts of life make the hard things worthwhile. Define our true core values by going back to when we had no idea what that even meant.
It might take a minute to dig down, but I have confidence in you. Do it in stages, if you want. Come back later to write about it. Let it settle.
Let the memories flood you. Reminding your heart how much you loved adventure, learning, running, solving problems, music, family time, nature, using your hands… What a list you can make!
In the spirit of full transparency. Here’s my list.
- Sunny and active outdoors
- Hanging with my peeps
- Being creative and making stuff up
- Comfortable shoes (for reals)
- Laughing. Always laughing. Giant, from the gut, belly laughs.
Now that we can relive the joy of singing, playing cards, Girl Scout Camp—there’s no going back. We know what floats our boat… and, well, we need to get that boat floating.
It’s not too late. It’s never too late. I was a late-autumn chicken when I founded Our Safe Space. It was a circuitous scenic route, to be sure. But I needed all of that first—to land here. Right here. To this every minute.
To tell you that joy is still waiting for you. It’s not hiding. You just have to want to find it.
I know I did. You can, too.
Live your dream. Starting now.
