Once things start to become a bit more serious in a relationship, the development of certain rituals can be a great tool for connecting with your partner on a deeper level. Here are a few ideas to help get you started.
1. Make a happiness jar.
Make this jar at the beginning of the year, and fill it with beautiful memories throughout the year. The idea is that every time you feel joy or happiness about something, you write it on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. You can write about something you did together, something that made you laugh, or an act of love that your partner did. Like that one day, I came home to flowers on the table and my favorite lunch was waiting for me.
The good thing about the happiness jar is that it reminds you that there are always things to be grateful for, even if they are small. Whenever one of you is feeling sad, pick one paper from the jar and read it out loud, this will immediately cheer you up. And, on the last day of the year, you’ll get to open the jar and read all of your papers!
2. Make a wish together.
Every time you travel to somewhere new, select a special spot to make a wish! Ask for it at the same time but do not tell the other person what your wish is. The first time my boyfriend and I asked for a wish together, we were at the Love Locks bridge in Cologne, Germany. After having hung our lock at the bridge’s fence, we threw the key into the river. While the key was going into the water, we both made a wish. A few months later, we both revealed what our wish was, and realized that it had already come true. The best part of this story is that we both had asked for the same thing, to move in together!
One great wish-making tip I can give you is to do it whenever you are in nature. There is something magical about being close to water, mountains, rivers or trees. It’s like the universe is saying: I hear you.
3. Go spiritual together.
Independently of our religion, we like reading the Bible together. We open the Bible to a random book and read two or three verses from that book. We like doing it after dinner. It’s a nice way to just relax after a good meal. We read for about ten minutes and take turns reading out loud. We then comment on what we have read and interpret the passage. If reading the Bible is not your thing, try to sit and meditate together, or talk about how you are feeling. When your spiritual sides are aligned, it’s more likely that the happiness in your relationship will last for a longer period of time.
4. Make a visionboard.
Visionboards are personal tools you can use to focus on your goals, but sharing one with your partner can help you reach your goals faster. And it’s more fun, too. Since the two of you will be collaborating in turning the board into a reality, it will give you a feeling of achievement and team work. Every time you accomplish certain goals from the board, mark it, and then focus on a new area that needs to be taken care of. Growing and experiencing success together makes a relationship stronger.
5. Be in the moment together.
Whenever you are having lunch together or going for a walk, try to disconnect from your phone and connect with your partner instead. Value the time you spend together. Do it as an act of respect and appreciation toward him or her. However, turning off your mobile does not always mean you are in the moment; turn off your internal dialogue too, so your thoughts don’t distract you from paying attention to what your partner is saying. Every morning before jumping out of bed, dedicate ten minutes to hug your partner. Set the alarm ten minutes earlier than you would normally do, and spend that time enjoying your partner’s company while you are still in bed. The same at the end of the day, spend some time talking about your day and put some nice thoughts in your mind before going to sleep.
Finally, create your own rituals! What is it that makes your relationship special? Is there something you both like doing at a certain time of day? Try to get into the habit of making and cultivating precious memories together.