The other day, I was talking to my partner about how to enhance our relationship and he said something that struck me. I couldn’t have loved his words more:
“A relationship isn’t a finished product. You have to cultivate it and water it in the same way you take care of your garden. No matter how strong you think your relationship is, if you don’t take care of it, it dies.”
This is so true. The moment we stop taking care of our relationship, the magic and spark will vanish little by little. We get so comfortable with our partner that we sometimes forget to put in the work the relationship needs, especially after we’ve been in a relationship for a long time.
I’d like to share with you some of the things my partner and I do to take care of and cultivate our own relationship.
1. Ask questions.
My partner asks me questions all the time. Nobody knows me as well as he does. Whenever he notices I’m worried, sad, or angry, he will ask questions such as, “How can I help you with this?” or “What can I do right now to make you happy?” Believe me, just by him asking this last question, I become happy instantly. Or if I’m feeling stuck with my career, he takes out his magical notebook and helps me organize my ideas by creating a plan with me.
If he didn’t ask me questions, if he didn’t care about what I’m struggling with, life would just be… harder. If you can be vulnerable with your partner and share the most profound parts of your heart, you’ll find a solution to your problems, which will in turn bring the two of you even closer.
2. Visualize together.
I’m a worrier by nature, and whenever something doesn’t go as planned, I tend to worry a lot. The other day I received not so good news, which caused me to say the words, “I’m scared.” My partner heard me say this, replying with a simple, “Then you’re not visualizing the right things.”
We like to visualize things we want to happen for us in the future together, like going on holidays, buying a new house, or having a baby. And we do the same when something gives us anxiety. We try to imagine the problem being solved, or the disease being cured. By putting positive thoughts in our mind, the body relaxes, and our mood changes.
You can practice positive visualization together. Just find a quiet place. Let your partner serve as your guide in your visualization. All you have to do is close your eyes and let your partner’s words guide you.
3. Take a shower or bath together.
Try to make time to shower with your partner at least once a week. It can be in the morning when you both start work late, or even after a long work day. It’s important to take your time and do it when you’re not in a rush. This way, you can enjoy each other more. Hold him/her under the shower, and feel the warm water running down your bodies. The calmness of the water will make you both feel more relaxed, and you’ll experience a feeling of connection afterward.
4. Write love notes.
Write your partner random love notes. Let him or her know how grateful you are, and leave the note somewhere they’ll see it. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to do this. Doing it spontaneously makes it even more special.
5. Help your partner with a chore.
Think of a chore your partner doesn’t like doing, like loading the dishwasher, taking the garbage out, or folding the clothes. From time to time, take care of this chore for them, even if you’ve already split up the household chores. The act of offering to do it will make your partner feel loved and appreciated.
6. Give extra hugs in the morning.
Out of everything on the list, this one is my favorite. Sometimes life gets too busy and it can be difficult to win the morning. But if you set your alarm for just 10 minutes earlier, you will have enough time to give your partner extra hugs in bed.
Since I’m an early-bird, sometimes I get up earlier than my partner, but once I’m done with my morning routine, I come back to bed to give him those 10 minutes of cuddles. Afterward, we get up and have breakfast together. He appreciates that I make him a part of my mornings.
There are other things you can do in order to keep your relationship happy, like cooking together, planning short trips, or simply actively listening to each other. Get into the habit of checking on your partner. Get involved in their projects, goals, and desires.
What is it that you do to show your relationship love? What was your favorite point from this list? Share it in the comments below.