Being angry and frustrated at work is its own special brand of misery. Why? Because you can’t lash out at the coworker or manager or VP who is driving you nuts without risking the loss of your job.
Whereas at home, you can probably get plenty angry at your teenager, your spouse, or your mother without them banishing you from their presence forever.
More often than not, we just stomach whatever frustrations we endure at work. But that’s not good for your emotional or physical well-being, nor your home life. At some point either your health will suffer (ulcers, backaches, insomnia, headaches, etc.) or your family will bear the brunt of your unhappiness.
Not only that but your friends and family don’t want to hear about your anger about work. Face it, you don’t like to listen to their litany of complaints either. And a good work-life balance usually implies that you leave work… at work.
Don’t you wish it were that easy? Few of us can compartmentalize our lives that effectively. But there is a way to deal with your work anger and frustration without alienating your friends and family while actually enrolling them as allies and willing helpers.
First, however, you must release your fire-and-brimstone emotion. You can’t get your friends and family on your side while breathing flames.
So, either pound your anger out safely on a pillow (named “horrible boss”) on your bed, write it out longhand (I find large illegible scribbles particularly cathartic), or jog it out. Whatever works for you. Just don’t Facebook, tweet, or email it unless you want the world in on your angst.
Then, call a family member or meet with a friend. Tell them the problem: “My boss regularly overloads me with new work,” “I never get the vacation slot I want,” “I keep getting passed over for that promotion.”
Ask for possible solutions. Do not judge any one of them. Don’t criticize any of their offerings. Don’t offer any “Yeah, but” statements. Just write all the suggestions down. Thank everyone for their input and tell them you’ll keep them updated as to your progress.
You will be amazed at the possibilities that emerge from a brainstorming session. Even the outlandish ideas will have some grain of wisdom in them. Or their ideas will spur more of your own. From there, you can figure out which is the best course to take.
Plus, now your friends and family are invested in your issue. They contributed to its potential resolution, so they care about how it turns out.
Once you are actively working towards the solution to your problem, your anger and frustration can be re-directed into enthusiasm for the coming solution, which is much better for your emotional and physical well-being.
