During the spring of 2021, I enrolled in The School of Awakening course given by Eckhart Tolle and his wife, Kim Eng. I was elated. I loved learning from Eckhart and while I had never gained wisdom before from his wife, I had a very good feeling about her presence.
During the two-month timeline of the course, I took copious notes and filled two notebooks of their teaching and wisdom—I didn’t want to forget a thing!
I thoroughly enjoyed learning about my ego, about my conditioned self, and how to remain in my present state, which connects me to my innermost being. From Being, we can give others a window into our true and authentic selves and lead our lives with love versus fear.
Once the class finished, we were given the opportunity to take another course free of charge. It was called Know Thyself and was a videotaped conference from Greece. Eckhart and Kim would be the spiritual leaders once again for these teachings.
Two years later, I began the course.
Since I so thoroughly enjoyed The School of Awakening, I might ask myself why I waited so long to start Know Thyself. But the person asking would be the old me. Because the new me knows that when we are ready for the lesson, we do the lesson.
My wise self patiently waited almost two years to hear the wisdom extolled from these two because any time before would have failed to meet me in the way my higher self needed to receive it.
Eckhart and Kim took turns giving 90-minute talks to the audience. Kim’s most memorable lecture was playful and fun, as were most of her talks. She described our bodies as flutes and the “stuff” we carry around—old wounds, traumas, ego fixations—as the beans stuck within us that don’t allow our flute to freely play.
The goal, of course, is to remove these beans. Some are easy to remove and take little time; others remain stuck because they still have something to teach you. We need to take a step back and really look at what is not wanting to get “unstuck.” We must be willing and ready to do that in order to evolve.
What she said next felt profound to me in a number of ways. Kim said that awakening is about emptying these beans completely from our flutes so that when the mystery of life comes along and decides that it wants to create through you, to use your form to create a kind word, a kind touch, no matter how simple or small, it has an open vessel to do so.
It is the present moment in which this happens, and we create it through presence, stillness, and by ridding ourselves of what does not serve us. Only then can life move through us and create beautiful moments of connection, love, and harmony.
I took the lesson to mean that the more we clean up our own side of the street, and meet our old wounds with love and care, the more we can be available for those awe-filled moments that feel like movie magic, only they are never, ever scripted.
Those moments that always seem to make my eyes well up with tears—that type of psychic sadness which was described by Sri Chinmoy—when your inner cry wants to establish its oneness with the beauty you are seeing!
If I were at the end of my life today, the moments I would remember would be the small, seemingly insignificant ones that most people overlook. The beautiful moments where I took in the good using Rick Hanson’s teachings and found myself fully present and alive to the amazing feeling of love around me.
It doesn’t matter if this happens with a stranger, for we truly are not strangers. Each and every moment is significant.
Kim was quick to add: “Only the mind (our sneaky ego) will say, ‘But I’ve got to create something really big and magnificent…’”
No, it doesn’t have to be. The ego tricks us into believing that we need to create something BIG so that our success is BIG and the ego can be fed. Once it is fed it lies dormant but only for a short time.
The ego machine will return for feeding like a loved pet who knows the time without needing a clock. Instead of trying to feed our ego, we should go within and feed ourselves so that we can clear our flutes and play our beautiful song of giving and open-hearted love.
I am deeply motivated to get rid of my beans so that life can move through me and use me to create beauty, tenderness, and loving compassion wherever my feet may travel.
It doesn’t matter how small it is. I will know when it’s coming from my essence and not my ego.
