I’m sure you’ve heard the quote “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” but have you ever stopped to contemplate the meaning? Most of us are inundated with so much input from the world around us that it’s easy to get sucked into situations that aren’t healthy for our lives.
Upon recent reflection, I realized that certain areas of my life drain my energy and prevent me from being the best version of myself. It’s not easy to shine when you’re weighed down by the people and activities you’ve surrounded yourself with that feel draining.
You know what I’m talking about…
- Family or friends who continually require your attention but rarely express gratitude or even ask how you’re doing
- A job that requires more and more with no regard for your mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual well-being
- Family or friends who fail to take ownership of their experiences in life and instead blame others for where they find themselves
- One-sided relationships
- Overcommitment
- Unhealed emotional pain
- Individuals who consistently show up with criticism, judgment, comparison, or unsolicited advice.
You have your own circus, we all do, but you have the power to choose your monkeys.
Some relationships and experiences are difficult to quickly remove yourself from. They may require that you navigate them for a period of time, like a job that’s paying your bills. You can choose to set boundaries as you decide how to move forward. Boundaries, while uncomfortable to create, often protect you from further discomfort and honor your needs.
In other situations, it’s imperative to lovingly release the monkeys creating havoc in your life. I say “lovingly” because you don’t want to draw in more of what you’re trying to release, which is the negative, draining energy. Is this easy? Sometimes it is, but in other circumstances it’s extremely difficult, even painful, to release something or someone and go your own way.
Letting go is a process that often leads to grief, a change in a familiar pattern of behavior. And letting go often brings in the healing that’s been waiting and knocking on your door.
Choosing to take ownership of the circumstances of your life, whether it be allowing an unhealthy relationship to continue or not taking steps to heal pain in your heart, is crucial to living a life that honors you.
Unfortunately, just because you have expectations that individuals or situations will show up in a certain way doesn’t mean that they will. But what you can control is to what degree you allow the monkeys in your life, if at all.
Remember, you have one life to live. Despite the obstacles on your journey, you’re here to find peace. Peace doesn’t come from what’s happening in your outside world; often, to find peace, you need to choose which monkeys to allow into your circus.
In a perfect world, we’d all shrug off every hurtful encounter that comes into our lives. But as humans, we experience a wide range of emotions that point us to what leads to wellness or to illness and struggle.
By releasing the monkeys in your circus that no longer align with your journey or well-being, you allow those that do align with your energy to step in.
You might find yourself holding on because it’s familiar, but perhaps ask yourself, “Is holding on causing me more pain?”
What might your life look like if you released things that no longer honor you, whether it be individuals, jobs, relationships, or pain in your heart?
My wish is that your circus this year is full of monkeys that love and honor you versus drain your heart and light.
