Relationships can turn from fun to misery very quickly if you or your partner have relationship anxiety. Many people remain in unhealthy relationships because they don’t know how to fix it. In order to avoid a relationship that can impact you and your partner negatively, it’s important to understand what relationship anxiety is and how you can keep it at bay.
What is relationship anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is a state of being extremely nervous and distressed about your relationship, even when you don’t have to be. Several studies have pointed out insecurity as the primary cause of anxiousness among many people. If you or your partner exhibit the following symptoms and any similar symptoms, dealing with it is essential to move on from the endless cycle.
Understanding the traits of relationship anxiety is the first step toward moving forward. Here are some of the manifestations of relationship anxiety:
- Low self-esteem and rhetorical questioning.
You can constantly be weighed down if you unnecessarily ask questions like, “Am I no longer attractive to my partner? Will he leave me for someone else?”. You may worry about trivial things too much, too often.
- Jealousy and possessiveness.
Getting jealous is normal to some extent, but not if you show signs of being obsessively territorial toward your partner. Preventing one’s partner from maintaining other relationships can cause a big strain on both parties involved.
An overwhelming need for attention and insecurity can cause you or your partner to be clingy. One may exhibit a tendency to crave for validation as well. Such behaviors can severely hurt the relationship.
- Fretting and overanalysis.
Trying to control the course of the relationship by analyzing every little detail can hurt you and your partner’s emotional health. It can cause stress, influence irrationality and rash decisions.
Although we inherently have necessary defense mechanisms, getting too defensive when things don’t happen as we wish can get in the way of building trust.
- Trust and commitment issues.
Trust is a crucial factor for a healthy relationship. However, if you can’t commit yourself to build a trusting bond with your partner, your relationship is not a safe-haven that can provide you comfort and emotional strength.
- Issues of communication.
Communication is a significant step toward building trust in any relationship. Any relationship will suffer without nourishment. Being distant and disconnected will only further the existing complications in the relationship.
All of these traits can drive your loved ones away, hurting both you and the other person. How can you deal with it? Instead of overthinking all the negative things that can happen, try to work through your anxiety.
Here are some ways:
- Understand where your insecurity comes from.
Try to find the root causes of your insecurity and learn to accept that you have them. Accepting that you have issues is the first step to address and eventually solve them.
- Boost your self-esteem.
Encourage yourself every day, as many times as you need to. Find a motivation that will keep you going and hold onto it.
Studies have shown that physical exercise helps in regulating anxiety levels. It has been known to alleviate stress as much as anxiety regulating medicines.
- Keep yourself busy.
Instead of pondering upon your relationship during your free time, keep yourself busy mentally and physically. You can find hobbies or work that won’t give you a chance to obsess over trivial things. Occupy your mind with things that will hold your interest.
- Think positive thoughts.
Try to focus on the bright side of things. If you maintain a positive attitude, it will be easier for you to deal with things in the right way.
- Learn to communicate.
Talk with your partner, ask what he/she expects from you. Talk about your difficulties instead of maintaining a passive-aggressive stance. This will help you forge an intimate bond. It will also pave the way for other positive changes.
Listening to people who care about you is just as important as listening to your partner. It can help you alter your perspective and make changes in your relationship.
- Get professional help.
For a person who is involved in a toxic relationship, it may be difficult to have clarity on where things go wrong. Reflective sessions with a therapist or a counselor can go a long way to help you.