When a relationship begins to “go south,” emotions can ignite and get out of control, assumptions can be made without evidence, doubt rears its ugly head… you know the drill.
To maintain harmony, communication is vital. Relationships end because a partner feels their needs aren’t being met or their voice isn’t being heard.
Here are 3 tips to keep those lines of communication open and thriving:
Tip #1 – Know Yourself.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Your mood has a tremendous impact – good or bad – on the energy you bring to your relationship and subsequent conversations. So, when you are “off your game” – whether consciously aware or not – your partner is affected by your energy.
Knowing yourself means being aware of your energy, your mood, how you feel, and shining that light of awareness on your personal triggers.
What irritates you? What has you feeling threatened? Money tends to be a huge “hot button” in relationships, so knowing your mindset around money, with all its gifts and challenges, is also paramount. What inspires you? What are your values? Are you living by them?
What we’re clearly discussing here is self-mastery, self-growth and the impact it has on your relationships. Of course, we are human. We can and most assuredly will make mistakes. We will have the occasional bad day. The difference is that when you know yourself, you are aware of what is transpiring and you know how you can soothe yourself through it.
Tip #2 – Know Your Partner.
What does your partner value? What are his needs? What motivates her to open up to you? When are they most approachable? Do you communicate your willingness to discuss issues as they arise?
Understanding your partner’s preferences around the ways you both communicate your needs, wants, and desires is key to healthy communication. Willingness to meet in the middle is also crucial when you’re both on opposite sides.
Understand how your partner prefers to process information. Is she quick to jump to conclusions or more thoughtful and deliberate? Does he prefer to attack an issue head on or take some space to consider options before discussing?
Help your partner to feel valued and heard when discussing sensitive issues. Knowing how to read your partner’s cues will allow you to more effectively engage with him or her.
Tip #3 – Listen Deeply and with Love.
It is important that both you and your partner feel heard and valued. When you listen deeply and truly hear and seek to understand, you help your partner to:
• Feel valued and appreciated.
• Feel encouraged to be open and honest with you.
• Feel they are contributing to the health of the relationship.
• Feel that it is safe for them to openly share with you their thoughts, fears, and concerns as well as their hopes and dreams.
This will open you to also hear what they are NOT saying. You will be able to sense their happiness and levels of satisfaction and ask respectful, probing questions. Come from the energy of LOVE. This person is your partner – the one you have chosen to co-create a life with – and what they feel matters to you so long as you are both still aligned and desiring to co-create a life together.
These tips can be applied to any relationship – not just the romantic life partnership. So, my coach’s request to you is this: If you are having an issue in a relationship that is important to you, take yourself through these tips. As I’ve shared many times, words do not teach, but experience does teach. Put these tips into action and gift yourself the experience of effective, loving communication. You – and your relationship – will be glad you did!