Ever since I was young, I have been a big daydreamer. If you leave me alone for a little while, you’ll likely find me drifting off into my imagination. Growing up, I never needed books, TV, or other people to entertain me, because I felt a deep sense of awe and wonder about life and everything I saw around me.
Daydreaming was my favorite activity, but it was often frustrating for those around me. In school, when walking down the street, or in the middle of an explanation, I would drift off for a bit. People often had to repeat themselves or grab my arm to keep me from walking into traffic.
School reports listed my daydreaming as something that needed improvement. And truth be told, my tendency to drift off made certain things, like driving a car, difficult. My environment was constantly mirroring back to me that this trait, that felt so natural to me, was something that I needed to unlearn to thrive in life.
I internalized that my daydreaming was my biggest flaw, a trait that I had to learn to control, fix, and change.
That belief followed me into law school, where it was important to be sharp and present, analytic and detail-oriented. There wasn’t much room for imagination, and so I did my best to be as present as possible and teach myself tricks to stop from drifting off.
I started believing that there was something wrong with me and that I had to do everything within my power to change this part of me.
And then one day, I met a girl who had the exact same trait. We joked about how we were unable to do certain jobs, like working in hospitality, because we would be too distracted staring at the clouds.
But of course, she told me, there are also benefits to being a daydreamer.
Excuse me?
She explained that she worked as a wedding photographer and that her dreamy side helped her create the beautiful imagery that people wanted for their special day. It gave her a unique view of things, and this was an asset in her profession.
She didn’t know it, but that simple comment changed my life. Her remarks planted the seed that perhaps my dreaminess wasn’t a flaw, but I had chosen a path where it was. Because I believed this part of me had no value, I built a career that avoided it altogether. In the wrong environment, your greatest strengths can look like flaws.
Fast forward to today, and I now know that my dreaminess gives me a unique perspective on life, a deep sense of empathy for other people, and the ability to appreciate the beauty in others as well as the world around me. It allows me to read between the lines of what is said and what is meant.
All traits that are highly beneficial for my work as a coach and writer.
The clients I work with are often quick to point out their own flaws too: they are too much of a generalist and haven’t specialized in anything. Or they have specialized too much and now find it hard to switch careers. They are too outspoken and go against the grain too much, or they are too introverted and don’t want to take center stage.
And it is no wonder many people feel this way. We are constantly measured against generic standards and compared to others, starting in school and continuing in the workplace. When we never get the encouragement that the parts of us that are different have value, we internalize that these parts are not good enough.
From there, we subconsciously create a life that reinforces that belief. That reinforcement could come up in friendships, relationships, or work. Since we often choose a career path at a young age, many of us choose a path that goes against our authentic nature.
When your career path doesn’t align with who you are, you often end up leading with your flaws. Which only confirms the belief that you need to fix or change something essential about yourself.
But what if your flaw isn’t a flaw at all, but rather a part of you that would flourish in the right environment?
Your sensitivity may make you feel overwhelmed at times, but it also helps you deeply connect with others, which is great in any role working with people.
When you always find yourself questioning authority, you may be seen as annoying and uncooperative in one place and as a great visionary in another.
Your introversion might not make group work your strength, but it’s a gift in roles that require deep concentration.
When you embrace your authentic nature and lead with the parts that make you inherently you, you can build a career around who you naturally are.
This starts with you: when you start seeing these parts of you as gold, it becomes much easier for others to see it as well. You may feel even more out of place in environments where these parts of you aren’t valued and appreciated, but when you truly accept and value who you are, you begin to see your natural traits in a whole new light.
Rather than asking yourself “How can I improve to fit into this environment?” you can shift the focus to “Where do my natural gifts and authentic nature shine the most?”
Rather than working against your unique wiring, you start seeing that your natural way of being offers you qualities, perspectives, and gifts that are of value to the world around you. The more you embody your self-worth, the more freely you’ll express yourself—and the more naturally the right opportunities will come your way.
