What am I worth? Such an important question and one that is difficult to quantify. If I were to ask you whether you are the fastest runner, it is easy to answer. However, if I ask what you are worth, most of us splutter and stutter.
We all feel, or have felt at some time, that we deserve a better car, job, or partner; a better life than what we are or have been living. Another way to put it is to ask yourself: What you are satisfied with?
This is where that over-used but vitally important concept of self-worth comes in. Most of us have other-worth. We find our worth in the opinions of those we associate with.
Your boss tells you that you made a mistake, and now you feel stupid. Perhaps you doubt that you have what it takes to do that job.
Your partner looked at another and so you don’t feel attractive or handsome enough or, perhaps he or she said something unkind or even insulting and now you feel totally unworthy.
You see your worth as how others see you—or how you believe they see you.
Perhaps you tell yourself that you are so fortunate to have such an all-round awesome partner, and you better raise your game or risk losing him or her, like misplacing a valuable item. You feel solely responsibility for the success or failure of the relationship.
Have you noticed the frequent use of the word feel? You feel unattractive, unintelligent, not good enough, and generally unworthy. You don’t consider your worth sufficient to insist on better.
Feelings can be deceptive and often come from a flawed premise, such as childhood experiences or a broken heart from a previous relationship. These are often the unreliable messengers we listen to with total confidence; what we feel must be true and accurate.
Perhaps now is as good a time as any to start questioning and analyzing those feelings. Just because your aunt’s grumpy Maltese nipped you as a child, doesn’t mean every Maltese is waiting to pounce. These feelings are not a true reflection of the situation or facts.
The world sees us and treats us the way we see and treat ourselves because we communicate this in a million subtle ways. Every time you tell your partner that you don’t need a gift or order the cheaper meal on the menu, you are telling yourself and the world this is what you are worth in your eyes. After all, you are the one feeling, thinking, and saying this.
Your thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behavior tell a story, a story of “I am not worth more than this.” This is your self-worth, the importance you have placed on your own needs and wants.
Promise yourself, today, that you will buy yourself the very best you can afford, and next time you receive a gift, do not say “This really wasn’t necessary.” Graciously accept it.
When you change your thoughts, feelings, and behavior about yourself, the world will respond accordingly. “Me first” is not a statement of selfish indulgence but a statement of self-respect and self-worth. Your self-worth is your ceiling. You will never have a better car, job, or relationships than your self-worth dictates.
You deserve and are worthy of the best, whatever that is for you; it is your birthright.
Identifying and eliminating the feelings that tell you that you are not worthy of more or better requires some introspection and excavation of past experiences. It will require you to be honest with yourself about what you really, really want and, once you have identified those things, you must live in that space of “I am worthy!”
Do this every day and watch every aspect of your life change and the world respond accordingly.
