“To live your life without expectation—without the need for specific results—that is freedom. That is Godliness. That is how I live.
—Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue (Book One)
Neale Donald Walsch
Why do I write? Is it with the goal of becoming published? Why do I meditate? Is it to enter an enlightened state?
Am I doing these activities for the sake of fulfilling certain expectations, or am I doing them for the opportunity to experience the joy of putting words to paper, or to enjoy the calm and inherent stillness available to me each time I sit?
Experience has taught me that the drive to fulfill certain expectations undoubtedly puts a damper on any creations—be they tangible or not. Therefore, stopping to ask myself what feels right to me has become a practice.
Because when I make an intention to remain open and be present with whatever happens in the moment—detached from a specific outcome and the discomfort that comes along with that—I have an easier time experiencing the joy available to me in the here and now, and I’m no longer caught up with the results of a non-existent future.
Expectations have a way of hurting us regardless of the outcome. If I expect things to go a certain way and it fails, then I feel justified descending into cringeworthy states of disappointment or defeat.
If I expect things to go a certain way and I am successful, then my attachment to specific results is further fed by this win and will continue with other pursuits until one day, my expectations are not met and the sudden, crushing blow is felt even more deeply under the weight of previous successes.
This, of course, is inevitable. Even the most prolific writer, all-star athlete, or accomplished professional experiences the pain of having their expectations dashed.
Worse yet, when we place all our energy onto expectations, we can freeze ourselves in place. We deny our passion—our love for doing the thing—because we have created expectations that seem too unwieldly and undoable.
The pressure we have put on ourselves is both unrealistic and unfair, closing out on opportunities for joy, growth, and expansion. It is hard to fathom the number of passionate pursuits that never gain wings because expectations have kept them grounded.
In each of these situations, what was forgotten was the simple joy one can experience while engaging in these activities, along with the opportunity to allow the mystery of creation to unfold naturally and without unneeded pressure.
My advice? Gently put aside your expectations, and everything will feel just right, like your favorite pair of jeans or an old school sweatshirt. You will feel comfortable with any outcome, because nothing is ultimately “good” or “bad”—it simply is.
Creating for creating’s sake becomes the name of the game, and it is one you get to experience over and over, living in a space of freedom and expansion, delighted by the surprises that uncertainty and pure enjoyment deliver.
