When I finally took the scary step to start my own business, I felt both very nervous and very hopeful. My biggest fear was disappointment: that I would try my hardest to succeed but that my hopes and expectations would not lead me anywhere.
Since my business felt so close to my heart, my deepest desires, I was afraid it would crush me if I were disappointed. And of course, there were many disappointments along the way.
There were opportunities that got my hopes up that ended up leading nowhere. There were people I reached out to and never heard back from. At times I felt that I had finally cracked the code to then find out that my new approach was not as successful as I had hoped.
I was disappointed, just like I feared I would be. And yet, I found out that with a little gentle care, disappointment did not crush me like I thought it would. I learned that when we truly desire something, we can find the courage to try again.
To start something new, do something scary, or go for something you truly want, you need hope. Hope is the fuel that drives you into action, that allows you to move forward even when it is uncomfortable or scary.
Without hope we would give up in an instant or not even try in the first place. Hope is a powerful emotion, a positive force that helps us in the face of adversity.
But with hope also comes expectation. When you put yourself out there, you might feel the expectation that it will lead to the result you want. If things don’t work out as planned, you feel disappointment.
Disappointment is a natural part of life, and almost inevitable when you put yourself out there, but most of us haven’t learned how to deal with it.
When you finally find the courage to apply for that dream job or ask for a promotion and you get rejected, the disappointment can lead to you feeling discouraged. It can stop you from putting yourself out there again, to avoid feeling the pain. This means you will avoid disappointment, but you also lose the chance to do something truly meaningful.
When you are in the process of making your dreams come true, here is how you can find the courage to try again after being disappointed.
1. Acknowledge the disappointment and allow yourself to feel it.
It might feel like allowing yourself time to feel disappointed will lead to not trying again. The opposite is true, though. Only when you let yourself grieve the outcome you didn’t get can you heal your disappointment and find the motivation to try again.
Acknowledging that you feel hurt and allowing yourself the time you need to process your feelings is the only way to move past it. Disappointment often comes with anger, frustration, and sadness. Your feelings are valid, and you are allowed to be hurt.
2. Recognize the courage it took to try.
Trying something new or working toward something you really want takes courage and vulnerability. Regardless of the outcome, can you give yourself credit for trying, for doing something that felt scary?
You can’t always control the outcome of your actions; you can only do your part. When you recognize that you took a courageous step, you might find that same courage to give it another go. Even if it didn’t work out this time, every step takes you closer to where you want to be.
3. Were your expectations realistic?
Once you have acknowledged the hurt, a good question to reflect on is whether you set realistic expectations for yourself. Disappointment is inevitable in life, but setting realistic expectations can make a significant difference in the intensity of it.
When the initial pain is gone, can you see what you learned from this situation and what could help you moving forward?
4. Get back to the desire.
Why did you want to do the brave, scary thing in the first place? Why is it important to you, and what would it be like if you succeeded? Getting back in touch with the desire you feel is the fuel for taking action once more. Allow yourself to dream again.
5. Take a baby step in the right direction.
Putting yourself back out there, no matter how small the first step might be, is the only way to move toward what you desire. What is a tiny step in the right direction that you could take today? Remember that achieving big dreams is often the result of lots of baby steps.
