Hi, I’m Steph. And I’m a recovering spiritual perfectionist.
For as long as I’ve been pursuing a connection with the Divine, I’ve been searching for the perfect spiritual practice. The perfect practice that would allow me to dial in to the magical pulse of the Universe. The perfect rituals that would remind me of all the love and abundance flowing through my life. The perfect meditation routine that would allow me to dance in that pure Divine light, that unfiltered joy, every morning. The perfect set of mantras, the perfect visualizations, and the perfect affirmations that lit me up and filled me with faith, gratitude and happiness.
So, the one constant in my spiritual practice? My search for the perfect practice. My desire for improvement, my hunger to discover and test perfect rituals and routines.
There have been a few days where I’ve gotten so very, very close to that feeling of perfection: that delicious buzz of feeling tapped in, tuned in, and overcome with bliss.
But on some days, I haven’t felt it. On some days, my practice felt anything but perfect. And on more than a few days, I’ve beaten myself up for not feeling that pure divine light, that faith, that gratitude, that happiness. For not feeling tapped in or turned on. For just feeling… blah.
And that’s the struggle with being a spiritual perfectionist. That’s the never-ending battle of seeking the perfect spiritual practice…
It’s the simple fact that I’m not perfect.
The reality is that I’m human. I’m an imperfect, messy creature who sometimes wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. I have days where I don’t feel 100% positive and zen-like. I try to feel it and I just can’t.
But instead of beating myself up for it, I’m telling myself that it’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s my perfect practice: to live each day as a divine and imperfect human.
In my quest for spiritual perfection, I’d forgotten my own humanness. In my insatiable craving to get closer to the Divine, in my never-ending quest to tap into my higher self and embody Her as often as I can, in my soul-deep desire for constant evolution and refinement on this planet… I’d forgotten to acknowledge and celebrate who I am. I’d forgotten that my imperfection wasn’t a hindrance to feeling divine, but the gateway to it.
And the one thing missing from my perfect spiritual practice was the permission to be human.
Now, instead of seeking perfection, I’m seeking appreciation. Instead of seeking the perfection that is my higher self, I’m seeking the fullness of my very human-y experience here on earth. I am allowing myself to dance in the pure divine light of my messy humanness. And I am rejoicing in all of life’s imperfection with gratitude and happiness.
Because in this life, we all chose to be human. We chose to live out a full, rich, complex human experience… not a perfect one.
So, in your own spiritual practice, in the moments when you tap into the light and embrace the Divine, embrace your humanness, too.
Embrace that lovely, messy creature you are — perfect in all your imperfections.