Here we are in the land of The Holidays. Sometimes it’s harder than others, right? Being thankful, that is. Wouldn’t it be fantabulous if everything we ever wanted just automatically showed up on our doorstep — neatly tied up in a bow? Ready to unwrap just like a perfect Christmas morning?
Well, it kinda does. But that doesn’t mean everything we daydream about automatically gets delivered by the Amazon driver five minutes after we ask for it. Even if we do have Amazon Prime.
Manifestation
No one believes in manifestation more than I do. I know for a fact that you can bring dreams to life through visualization. The proverbial asking-for-what-you-want in order to get it.
Even if it’s just your thoughts. Actually, especially if it’s just your thoughts. “Thoughts become things” as Mike Dooley says, and I know it to be true.
The Universe
The universe works in ways that evade us mere mortals. Things happen that make no sense.
Earlier this month, a 41-year-old Tucsonan was riding their bike and never made it home. A driver didn’t see them in the crosswalk. Unthinkable, but it happened. Changing so many lives forever. #RealityCheck of the worst kind.
People like me who didn’t even know them can’t wrap my head and heart around this. Certainly not that unfortunate driver who never would have chosen to take another person’s life. But here we are.
In the land of The Holidays, nonetheless.
How Messy Can It Get?
The world is so damn messy, doesn’t matter the day or season. Maybe your messy isn’t quite that large. Maybe it’s worse.
Mess happens for thousands of different reasons.
- The week is so much longer than your paycheck is big
- You see nothing but blockades between you and your goals
- You need to special-order a new inner circle of peeps
The bottom line is, regardless of mess factor, the best way through the mess is to learn to sit with it. Love it.
Glennon Doyle
My Our Safe Space book club is working our way through Glennon Doyle’s book We Can Do Hard Things. If you haven’t read it, it’s life changing. Glennon says it’s about sitting with the pain. Lord knows I’ve done my share of sitting. I agree with her a million percent. I say, let’s sit in the mess to find our way out.
In the Moment
Joy comes from living in the moment—feeling that moment to your core, which is flat-out impossible if you’re steeping in past moments or fretting and stewing about the ones to come.
Gotta learn to love sitting in the quagmire, knowing it’s part of the journey to the place you wanna be. Otherwise, that ick is just gonna pop up over and over, slapping you in the face and the heart.
Does Size Matter?
What size is your mess? Little? Giant?
Is it a mess that isn’t really a mess, just a bunch of mishmash stuck in your noggin? Because:
- You’re overthinking it
- You misunderstood someone
- You’ve wrapped yourself in fear and can’t see your future for the angst
Great words, Gayla, but life hurts sometimes. Damned if you aren’t correct. I didn’t say it was easy—I just said it’s important.
Learn to Love the Messy
There’s not just one way to sit with it any more than there’s just one kind of person. Here’s how I sit:
I start off each morning with a daily routine. It changes on the regular, but it’s 20+ minutes dedicated to yoga, journaling, introspection, meditation and/or visualization. Making sure I start my day on an even keel with huge buckets of intention.
If I have a particular mess in mind, I come up with a plan of attack. I break down that elephant into bite-sized chunks. If the hunks o’ mess aren’t tasty, at least they’re smaller.
If I feel like any of this mess is my fault, I’ve gotta forgive myself. If I could’ve done better, I would’ve. If I’m punishing myself, I can’t get past any of it. How can I expect someone else to forgive me if I can’t forgive myself?
Same difference if the mess was caused by someone else. It’s over and done. Time to move on.
Phone a friend. Sometimes I need to talk to someone else besides the voices in my head. Chatting with a trusted peep can smooth out wrinkles so quickly. Just saying the words out loud can pop that fear bubble in no time flat.
Messy on the Way Out
Different messes get cleaned up different ways. Sometimes a paper towel and Windex will do. Other days it’s time for a heavy-duty cleaner, Brillo pads, and a case of WD-40. As you gnaw on that elephant, piece by piece, imagine how great you’re gonna feel when it’s all over with.
That, my friend, is the secret of manifestation. Feeling the joy of the after-mess before you get there.
Then, when your world is cleaner, you’ll see why it needed to happen. As Glennon says, “The braver I am, the luckier I get.”
And I say ain’t that the truth!
