15 Truths About Self Love We All Need To Remember

BY Elyse Santilli        July 3, 2017

1. Self-love is about more than bubble baths.

True self-love is about the way you view yourself, the way you speak to yourself, the way you treat yourself, and the dreams you have for yourself.

2. Your worth is innate. 

You don't have to earn or prove your worth by ticking off a certain number of external achievements. You were born worthy and enough because you are a divine being created by the power that creates galaxies, rainbows and stars.

As author Eckhart Tolle says: "You are the Universe experiencing itself as a human for a little while." How can you get any more worthy than that?

3. Comparison is a waste of energy.

Comparing yourself to other people misses the whole point of your life – to be you. To be the unique once-in-humankind blend of gifts, passions, ideas, quirks and magic that you are. 

We are all valuable and shine in our own unique way – like flowers at a flower market or crystals mined from the earth.

4. Focus on your gifts and strengths. 

You get more of what you focus on – so instead of focusing on your flaws and imperfections, focus on your gifts and strengths.

Acknowledge and celebrate what you do well, the courage and kindness you've shown, and your wins, instead of only noticing your shortcomings.

5. You are not your self-critical thoughts.

We all have a voice in our head that tells us we are not enough. The good news is you are not your thoughts – you are the witness or observer of them. This means you can learn to observe them and not take them so seriously. Thoughts are not necessarily truths, and the truth is you are enough. 

6. Your body is a temple for your soul.

Your body is a precious temple for your soul while you adventure in time and space. Your body is a gift that lets you love and dance and create and play. So it makes sense to appreciate it, nourish it and treat it with respect.

7. You are perfectly imperfect.

I meditate, do yoga, read philosophical texts, eat whole foods, and practice gratitude. I also have stretch marks, procrastinate, scroll too much on social media, cry most weeks, and eat too much peanut butter straight from the jar.

We are divine beings made of stardust and magic and our core is pure love, and at the same time we are human beings with challenges and imperfections. In this way we are perfectly imperfect – perfect souls having an imperfect human experience.

8. Self-care is essential.

Self-care involves taking care of the biggest gift that you are here to give – yourself. When you make time to fill your cup with daily rituals, meditation, time in nature, good company, and doing the things you love, then your cup will overflow with love, creativity and inspiration for you to give to the world.

9. Your self-talk matters because you are listening.

Your self-talk can have a huge impact on the way you see yourself and what you believe you can achieve. Choose to practice loving and empowering self-talk. Encourage yourself with pep talks, kind words and affirmations.

10. You have to love yourself first.

Many of us put our self-love and happiness on hold until we get the relationship, the dream job or the financial abundance. But the truth is the world is a reflection of us. Step one is to love and accept ourselves now, and then our relationships and reality can reflect our new mindset and energy. 

11. You are a work in progress.

Shunryu Suzuki wrote: "We are all perfect, and we could all use a little work."

You can want to improve your life and become a better version of you, without it meaning you are insufficient now. Self-development does not need to involve self-judgment about where you are now. You may need to remind yourself: "I am striving to be more than I have been, and I am enough now."  

12. You are worthy of your dreams.

You are worthy of your true dreams and desires because they were given to you for a reason – they are what the Universe wants to experience and express through you. You are worthy of love, happiness and success. When you own your worth, believe in yourself more and take inspired action toward the life you truly want and deserve, the Universe will support you to create it.

13. You are not what other people think of you.

Everyone is viewing the world through their own beliefs and experiences, so the opinions other people have of you is not necessarily a reflection of who you are. You could also be the juiciest peach or finest champagne in the world, and some people just don't like peaches or champagne.

So instead of seeking acceptance or approval from everyone around you, accept and validate yourself. As author Steve Marboli writes: "When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me."

14. You deserve the compassion you extend to others.

Buddha reminds us: "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

We can be quick to extend kindness and compassion to our loved ones, but not to ourselves. Practice being there for yourself like you would be there for a friend or child. Treat yourself with unconditional love and acceptance.

15. You are more magical and magnificent than you know.

Have you ever had a moment where you caught a glimpse of your best self? Maybe you were giving advice to a friend, watching a sunrise, painting or dancing – and you felt tapped into your inner wisdom and creativity?

That is who you really are. You are not your flaws or doubts, your changing moods, or the guilt you carry around. You are a spark of the divine and your authentic nature is love and greatness.

This is what true self-love should be based on – knowing who you really are deep down below all the titles and roles.

When you get in touch with this part of yourself, you will discover the inner well of unconditional love and infinite worth that has been within you all along. Keep believing in your inner magic and you will find it.

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Elyse Santilli

Elyse Santilli is a writer and life coach at She is passionate about helping people discover their inner spirit, create their dreams and expand their happiness. For free updates and tips, sign up to her newsletter here

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