Recently, someone asked how I would feel if the rest of my life was more of the same. Without a thought, I laughed out loud. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. Today is perfect. But would I want tomorrow to be a Xerox copy? Uh, no. Hard pass.
What feels great today might not strike my fancy at all in the future. I can’t wait to see the newness that shows up tomorrow. Change is my friend.
As I am prone to say, we are all a product of where we’ve been. I am no exception.
I grew up in a family where dinner was served at 6:00 pm. Not 5:59. Not 6:01. Taco Tuesday hadn’t been invented yet, but the fam most definitely embraced Meatloaf Monday.
Our family did things as they had always been done—with the firmly established belief that if there were a better way, they would have found it already. I cannot begin to express how that life made my skin itch.
At the ripe old age of 12, at that aforementioned dinner table, I announced I could not wait to move to New York City. Why NYC? From my adolescent perspective, it was the antithesis of my Kentucky hometown—where being cast from a different mold was…well, unwelcome.
Your penny loafers best be Weejuns, young lady, else’n you’ll never fit in. My hero was a classmate who put string on an oatmeal box and carried it as a purse.
Creating the Change YOU Want
Life promises one thing only: change. The decision is yours. Dilly-dally around and let life pick for you or take charge and make your world all you would have it be.
Let’s say the one thing you know for sure is that you’d like this year to be different. Seems like a great place to start. Let’s do it.
Step One: Think Differently
If you want your life to be different, you need to think and act differently. Can we agree on this starting place? If we keep doing what we’ve always done, we can only expect more of the same. Agreed? Let’s create the change we want to see!
Step Two: Accept the Now
Start with accepting your current circumstances. I cannot overstress the importance of this step. You must embrace your place to start anew. You just happened to have landed here—a stop on the journey to where you want to be.
- Accept that where you are is not who you are.
- Forgive yourself, them, everyone.
- Release any blame/anger/resentment toward yourself or anyone else. (I know. Not easy but crucial.)
- Replace any leftover negative self-talk with a mantra of emotional release. (Something like “I release all emotions that are not in my best interest.”)
Rinse and repeat this process until you have released any and all negative emotions attached to your current life. I mean it. The rest of the steps need you to finish this first.
Step Three: What’s Next?
Prepare to pivot by picking your future. What floats your boat?
- Finding a new job that keeps you challenged?
- Being able to finish that 10K with a smile?
- Adding to your collection of belt buckles from around the world?
Take your time. Make sure it feels right. Pick things that make your heart sing.
Once you’ve finalized your fancy, you can move on. Things will start to change once that decision is made and your intention is set.
Step Four: Open Up
Let’s create a new habit of opening up to all the everything everywhere.
You’ve completed your release, leaving you with an open heart able to embrace a new and exciting existence. The goal is to pay attention to people, places, and things you skipped right over. Become the wide-eyed four-year-old version of yourself—in awe of a world full of wonderous everything everywhere. Think Christmas or birthdays, surrounded by the gifts of life, all yours to enjoy.
If this is new to you, it may take some practice. Try doing what you usually do but in new ways:
- Less autopilot, more in the moment
- Talk less, listen more
- Just say yes to trying something new
You’ll be amazed at what shows up. By widening your scope, you’ll automatically open up to new thoughts, ideas, and adventures. And new is what we’re after. Your open eyes and heart will work miracles when we get to…
Step Five: Take Action
Make a move in the direction of your goal. Any move. Open doors and peek inside. Yes, you can open more than one door, you rule-breaker, you! Don’t like any of the doors? As Mike Dooley says, pick the least sucky ones.
Get the momentum going! Movement is essential. Left foot, right foot. Steps of any size. There’s a reason it’s called “chasing your dreams.”
If you feel lost, take a breath, forgive yourself, and start over.
- Embrace change
- Accept your now
- Stay open to what’s new
- Keep your eye on the prize
- Step to the beat of your new life, enjoying the view
Keep the momentum going and magic will follow. Who knows what may happen next? The fam may start eating dinner at any old time.
