Head trash. It’s that stuff in our heads that we spend time engaged with instead of putting it where it belongs: in the garbage! But, until we recognize it as such, we call it truth and then obsess on the things it holds us hostage believing.
It’s the “I’m just not good enough,” “My partner isn’t giving me what I want and need,” and “I don’t have enough money and time” junk.
Since our actions stem from how we feel inside, if we are letting the trash do the talking, then what goes on around us is going to seem like garbage as well. So here are 5 questions we can ask ourselves to help identify it and work on throwing it out!
1. How do I tell my stories?
Think about a recent experience and rate the story that was told about it on a scale of 1-10. A 1 means nothing at all about it felt good, 10 means totally focused on the good stuff.
When we engage in this inner research around our stories, we can begin to gauge where our focus lies. Then we can decide where we aspire to be going forward, and begin to adjust our stories accordingly.
2. How do I speak to myself?
Have you ever caught yourself cursing at yourself for simply making a mistake? Most likely we would never speak to someone we loved through cursing and put-downs if they made a mistake. It's worth listening very closely to the way we speak to ourselves and to pick words that we would use with those we love. We deserve the very same treatment!
3. How do I define myself?
When we talk about ourselves, we don't often lead with our stellar qualities. Many times, we share the things we feel we are not good at. When we start to catch the negative ways we talk about ourselves, we can catch some of the trashy beliefs we have floating around in our heads. “Oh yeah, I am just not up on all the latest fashion, so I just dress like this” or “Oh, I just don’t have the kinds of skills that make money like he or she does.” What is that stuff?? It’s garbage!
Who we are is who we believe ourselves to be. If we don’t think we are good at something, we don’t need to give energy to that sentiment. We can choose to give energy to what we believe we are good at. It’s not about being ego-driven, it’s about which beliefs we put our energy into. It's OK to want to feel good about ourselves.
4. What do my relationships mean to me?
Those on a spiritual path know that our relationships are where we put the pedal to the metal. They are the grounds for our true spiritual growth. Especially those we are in merely out of circumstance, e.g. those we work with. The relationships we “have” to be in can ultimately serve as our biggest opportunities for growth when we don’t let them drag us into being someone we don’t want to be. We can view them as the greatest place for us to practice being our best self.
And we can practice that in any relationship. Even the ones we have the most expectations for. But in those relationships, we can ask for feedback. We can use them as mirrors to what is going on inside ourselves. And we can join forces to continue to grow to be whom we seek to be within.
5. How clear is the window to my soul?
Remember: a window should support vision from within and without. And when we have a lot of head trash floating around, it clouds up that window. When we are not clear on who we want to show up as, or what we desire in our relationships, or how we feel about ourselves, then neither is the Universe. Clarity throws out the garbage.
Yes, our desires will always be shifting. That’s fine! But when things are not clear, all we get in return is more murkiness. An exercise in clarity would be to write down a sentence or two about what we want in the following areas: health, family, love, friendships, career and spiritual life. When we do this, we send clear messages to the Universe. And then we are not creating through head trash. We create through clarity.
We can allow these questions to serve as guideposts to bring out that head trash… and throw it out!
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