You may have heard this concept before: “Every decision we make is either based on FEAR or FAITH.”
I’ve found this to be especially true when it comes to love and relationships, although this can be applied to any area of your life. As you read on you can replace the word “love” with success, happiness, fulfillment, or whatever you’d like!
When it comes to your love life, a fear-based approach would be, “I have to change myself, because I’m not good enough as I am” or “I have to manipulate this situation or I won’t get love.”
On the other hand, a faith-based endeavor would sound like, “Everyone is worthy of love, including me!”
If you’re coming from a place of fear, when you’re with someone you really like – your insecurities can get triggered and your first instinct may be to try to cover them up and hide who you really are. If you’re covering up parts of yourself or pretending to be someone you’re not in an attempt to get love, not only is it exhausting – you’re wasting your own time and energy by putting up obstacles for the RIGHT person to find you!
Here are five steps to help you move out of fear and into faith, so you can start attracting everything you want in your love life:
1. Stop interpreting “setbacks” as indicators that you’re never going to get love.
The way I see it, there is no rejection – there’s only a wrong fit. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, they can’t possibly be the right person for you! You just “weeded them out.”
There’s not a wasted moment or wasted opportunity, because everything in your life is leading you to the love you want and deserve.
2. Shift your attention to what you love about yourself – what YOU believe to be lovable and desirable.
Worrying too much about what other people think or how you come across is fear-based thinking.
Make a list of every single thing you love about yourself, and go back to that list every time you start to feel like you’re not “enough.”
You don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of what’s lovable – because what’s lovable is right there inside of you already!
3. Think of how what YOU feel is “unlovable” about yourself could actually be lovable and endearing.
There’s a great quote that says: “We’re admired for our strengths, but we’re LOVED for our weaknesses.” When someone loves you, they don’t see your “flaws” the way you see them in yourself.
Think about someone you’ve loved. You likely didn’t fall in love with them because they were “perfect” – you fell in love with them for THEM – for who they are as a person, including their quirks and what makes them unique.
4. Look for evidence that your “love story” exists.
Look for real-life love stories of people who are in a similar situation as you. No matter what it is that you feel might stop you from getting the love you want, you can find evidence that love knows no bounds.
Remember to focus on what you WANT rather than what you DON’T want – since what you focus on grows.
5. Keep your heart open 100% of the time.
Being authentic and honest about what you want will automatically move you out of fear and into faith.
Catch yourself when you start to “shut down” – and instead, practice keeping your heart open all the time with everyone who crosses your path. This could be as simple as being curious and genuinely interested in what others have to say.
Think about a decision you’re making in your life right now and ask yourself, “Am I coming from a place of FEAR or FAITH?”
Are you staying in a relationship or a job that doesn’t fulfill you because you have faith that things will improve – or out of fear that there’s nothing else out there for you?
Either answer could be true for you! The key is to be totally honest with yourself and see where you can start moving out of fear and into a faith-based frame of mind.
Your mentality shouldn’t be, “Can I settle for this? What if this is the best I can do?” and making decisions from a place of LACK. You want to be making decisions from a place of ABUNDANCE.
Once you move out of fear and into faith, everything will start to organically shift in the right direction and you’ll feel much less resistance during this process, which is extremely important since what you resist persists.
I believe that if you have a desire for love, you’re AUTOMATICALLY worthy! You don’t have to be “perfect,” you just need to have faith that you’ll be irresistible and of infinite value just as you are to the right person for you.