Mike, I've met someone, but I'm married, unhappily married...

Q:  Things seem to be going sour, my step-children run my marriage, and my husband lets them, he is not a "warm" person... today, I met some-one who was witty, kind warm, and seemed more like me than me... I don't have the answer, but I feel unloved, and those LOVED feelings are what I want back......I am in a quandary..., maybe I was meant to not ever marry again after my prior husband, of 15 years abandoned my daughters and I, and I was meant to meet many who made me smile without being responsible for THEIR happiness, and it is not I but my husband who lets those older children control what goes on in our lives, that I think is not quite right?

A:  Sally – you are responsible for you and your own happiness… and you must pursue being happy… however, being happy means taking reasonability for understanding your present situation and those people already in your life… otherwise it’s too easy to bounce from one person to the next and find the same patterns repeating. I’m not saying that you must “stay where you are”, but I am saying that often times challenging relationships are gifts for learning, growing and eventually finding greater happiness.

Only you know what you should do… and if you are uncertain, then do nothing and wait.