Q: I am living in
a situation that causes me all sorts of problems and
stress. I am a college student who is going to a certain
university for the sole purpose of making someone else
happy (which I know is a recipe for failure).
You see, my father and I never
got to know each other until I was about thirteen, with
our relationship then being rocky at best afterward. So,
when he started showing interest in me and my endeavors
in high school, I was very pleased. Then, when he
offered to help me pay for college and acted proud and
happy that I planned on attending college, I was on
cloud nine. However, it quickly became clear that my
going to college was just going to be a way for him to
mend his past regrets; he basically manipulated my
decision as to what college to attend and all but chose
my major for me.
Now, if I leave, I have two
roommates whom I would be sticking with my share of the
rent and bills. Ultimately, I guess I would feel guilty
about abandoning my roommates and leaving them with all
of the extra burdens and throwing away all of the hard
work I have already put in. On the other hand, I hate
this place so much.
So, in weighing my options
(which is my going to art school in Southern California,
like I've always wanted to... while keeping in mind it
may be just as terrible as this - but without trying, I
will never know), I feel like I would be making not only
my roommates suffer, but also my father. However, in all
honesty, I don't know if I can handle another year and a
half in this environment.
That leads me to my question
of what to do? Do you have any advice for me as I try to
make this journey for the next year and a half? Or do
you think I should follow my heart and make myself
happy?
A: Why not look
for Plan C?I would
not advocate dumping your responsibilities and
obligations, but you can't have a year and a half
lease, can you? Morally, you owe no one.
Financially, you "should" do
your best to meet your obligations. Why not stay
there, drop your classes, get a job so that you can
see out your lease, and when you have met all your
obligations, move to S. California and enroll in art
classes? Maybe you could work around the arts, you
might even find a great job.
Or, perhaps you could find
your own roommate replacement, at your own expense?
Yes, follow your heart and
make yourself happy, but this will be an even taller
order if you don't see through your immediate
financial obligations to your roommates.
