“Conscious dating” or “mindful dating” is an enlightened way of meeting and dating. By using these spiritual dating keys, you can begin to enjoy your encounters in a pure sense and connect on a deeper, more soulful level.
1. Be brutally honest without being brutal.
Most of us have been socially conditioned NOT to be completely honest. We’ve been taught to protect someone’s feelings by telling little lies. “It’s not you, it’s me,” “No, I’m not single, I’m flattered though.” In the movie, The Invention of Lying, where Ricky Gervais’ character, Mark, picks up Jennifer Garner’s character, Anna, for dinner, they both say exactly what they’re thinking. She opens her front door and he introduces himself and asks how she is. She replies, “A little frustrated at the moment, also equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight…” It’s a great movie. I’m not suggesting you be outright rude, however, I do recommend being brutally honest without being brutal. Tact is important, just don’t sacrifice the honesty with yourself or your date. Stay in your heart and speak your truth. You’ll be surprised how much others appreciate you and find your honesty refreshing.
2. Be present and open.
When you are truly present in the moment, you are open to meeting someone special because you are aware and paying attention. For example, when standing in line at the grocery store, instead of checking your emails, be receptive and conscious of who is in your space. Focus on the moment you are experiencing NOW. Smile, say “hi” and initiate conversations. Asking someone a question or commenting on what they are buying is a great way to start a conversation. Meeting strangers can be fun, not only as potential relationship partners, but there may also be other “gifts” for you (or them) -- a new job, a place to live, a great friendship -- you never know if you don’t reach out.
3. Be realistic.
Chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes. Realize that your “type” most likely was programmed by mass media, parental and societal conditioning. Most singles have used or will use a dating site at one point or another. When viewing profiles, look at potential partners’ eyes and feel their energy through their photos. Your life partner may not look like the “type” you’ve been conditioned to see as attractive. They may be taller, shorter, thinner, or thicker -- look deeper. As you thoroughly savor and experience every person you encounter, you can appreciate their uniqueness and connect in a much more meaningful way.
4. Be real.
Being real means dropping your guard and letting go of ego; being yourself without trying to impress or show off. Imagine that you are hanging out with your best friend or sibling… someone you are totally yourself with. Practice being that way with everyone you meet, including potential partners. When you are real, relaxed, present and honest, others feel this and tend to be more comfortable and real too. Don’t worry if it’s a good match in the beginning, just get to know them and have some fun. Follow your inner guidance and use discernment. By expressing your true, authentic self, you send out that same energy to the quantum field and magnetize a partner who is also real.
When on a date, practice active listening. Instead of planning out what you are going to say next, or worrying about how you look, focus completely on the other person and really HEAR and FEEL what they are communicating. Hold the space for them to share without interrupting. Wait a second or two after you think they are finished and let it sink in before you respond. When talking, speak from your heart and allow the conversation to flow naturally. Every moment doesn’t have to be filled with conversation -- silence and just being together is also nice. Remember to breathe and relax.
6. Remember your divinity.
We are all Divine energy, made of the same stuff. When you remember, feel, and integrate your Divine Presence into your physical body, it’s difficult to feel unworthy, which is a normal state for most people. It’s key to do some powerful self-growth work where you forgive and love yourself unconditionally. Allow this love of self and joy to radiate outward and attract the same.
7. Stay in the flow.
Getting out of your head, following your heart, and trusting your inner guidance is the essence of staying in the flow. When you are connected to your Divinity, you know what to do, where to go, who to talk with, etc. There is no "thinking things through" for hours, days or weeks... it just happens. Letting go of expectations and preconceived ideas about how something or someone “should” be, and not screening everything you say, helps you stay present and in the flow while being brutally honest. Trusting that you are perfectly guided by your higher self (Divine Presence) is helpful and shifts your life to a series of crazy-fun synchronicities.
Conscious dating can be a fun, enriching experience that you savor and thoroughly enjoy. When these 7 keys are put into practice, results happen quickly, and it’s possible to experience a blissful, loving relationship in no time. In-JOY the adventure.
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