It is so common to drift through life. It is easy to live your days on an autopilot. Wake up, do your work, check phone, do some more work, upload a picture (that shows you are happy) to your favorite social media account, do work, go home, check phone, sleep. And just like that life goes on.
Suddenly, one day, you get up and find out you are a year older. It’s your birthday and you get a cake, so you are not that vocal about the discomfort, but these birthdays add up and soon you find out that you've lived the best part about your life just wading through and giving no real thought to your loved ones: responding to their questions in ways that don’t make them ask more, giving monosyllabic answers, just getting through. And they're doing the same.
This is just a friendly reminder that asks you to start now. Schedule out a time to connect and do whatever works. Here are 10 questions that can help.
1. What was good that happened today?
Gratitude is one of the game changing habits of life. Science has shown that gratitude makes us healthier as well as happier, plus improves our confidence and sleep. What better way to make it a daily occurrence than to practice it with your loved ones every day? Just asking this simple question can help you and them to get more focused on the positive in life and enter into a better state of mind.
2. What made you smile today?
Our days are crappy sometimes, but the best part about life is that even on those days, we gets a few good laughs. Asking them to remember the best parts of the day and reliving those moments with them is a brilliant way to deepen your bond and come closer together.
3. How can I help you be more?
Maybe there's some way that you can help them to become happier or more productive. Even something as simple as letting them bathe first if you share a bathroom, can go a long way in making your relationship stronger.
4. Why do you look so awesome?
A brilliant question. On most days, this one is enough. This question gives you a chance to make them feel good about their appearance, which immediately makes them feel more comfortable and relaxed.
5. When are we next hanging out together?
A few special days are important if we want to give a meaning to our lives. And hanging out together, even if only at home, is important. Do something special together every few weeks and see the difference it makes.
6. Are there any changes you want to make in our life?
Sometimes, we are so afraid of criticism that we don't allow others share their needs (and we all have some). This question helps you to find out if changes are needed in the relationship. And if they are, what can be done to quickly and honorably resolve the issues? This will make you both much happier in the long run.
7. Are you happy?
Not every day is supposed to be the best day of your life. That would take the fun and craziness right out. But all days should not be sad ones either. It's okay if the answer is “No” every once in awhile. But if you hear it for 2 weeks in a row, it's time for them to change things.
8. What parts of life are you scared about? Can I help?
Saying our problems out loud is therapeutic. When we get a chance to express our fears out loud, we diminish their power in our minds. If you don’t believe me, try it out sometime. Just start telling someone what you're scared of and why... and watch your fear start to dissipate. Asking your loved ones to say this out loud gives you a chance to hear their fears and it gives them a chance to take their power back.
9. What are you excited about for tomorrow?
This question will make sure that your loved one is reminded of what tomorrow has in store. This will help them not only get a good night’s sleep, but also wake up happier and excited for the day.
10. I love the way you laugh. Can we practice it together for a moment right now?
Laughter can help you bond and create intimacy. In fact, laughing (even fake laughter) is so effective that there's an entire yoga practice named after it, called laughter yoga. Laughing together will help you both strengthen your immune system, alleviate pain, and cut down stress.
These questions not only help you connect with your partner, but also with all your loved ones including friends, parents, siblings and relatives. After all, good relationships = good life. Try it today, and then let me know how it goes.
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